Every Pastor Should Read This Book!!!

As many of you know, for the past year and a half, I have taken a keen interest in seeking to help the church understand the dangers of clergy sexual abuse. This led me to an author named Dr. Diane Langberg. A few months ago, I was able to spend an hour and a half with her, just picking her brain. She is considered one of the most significant voices in America on the subject. For my final project in my Doctor of Ministry program, I had to do two book reviews. One of them was on her newest book When the Church Harms God’s People. Every pastor in America should read this book. With that in mind, please forward this book review to your pastor. I'm convinced that this issue will not be tackled until everyday believers respectfully demand that their elders get educated on this issue. The church should be the safest place for women and children. Often, it is not.

Diane Langberg is a prophet—not necessarily predicting the future, but more like Amos, speaking out against injustice (Amos 3:10) or Noah, “a preacher of righteousness” (1 Pet 2:5) amid corruption. With decades of experience in trauma counseling, Langberg brings a piercing rebuke to ecclesiastical powers, who have prioritized their platforms over people. “Outward success, fame, wealth, and large numbers are not the fruit our Lord demonstrated during his earthly ministry” (p. 16). In her last book, Redeeming Power, Langberg is a psychologist using theology to drive home her point. In her latest work, When the Church Harms God’s People, Langberg, at the age of seventy-five, issues a clarion call informed by the experience of ministering to victims of clergy sexual abuse. It is a word from heaven to the modern church—it’s not about your fame or following; if you’re a shepherd, it’s about his sheep.

Spiritual formation, the process of becoming like Yeshua, as it relates to shepherds, will be the focus of this review. If pastors sought to live and act like Jesus instead of celebrities, they would not abuse. Citing Ezekiel’s scathing rebuke to the shepherds of Israel, Langberg calls on leaders to repent of feasting on the sheep, or they will be removed (p. 46). “We have been called by God to guard his lambs, to protect them. They are his. They are vulnerable” (p. 18). Appalled by the sheer number of recent exposures (p. 145), she challenges the church that God’s people are called “To speak truth, bring light, and intervene when those who use his name look nothing like him” (p. 1).

Over these past few months, I’ve purposely not done any interviews. I had a strong sense that as soon as the investigation into Michael Brown was over, the Lord would release me. Sure enough, several people reached out to me, and I felt it was right to share my perspective. The first one was with Blaise Foret. I must say it was incredibly difficult because it is a very strange thing to be speaking about someone that you've known for 40 years and that you still care about. I don't want to come across as proud. But for the grace of God, there go I. We need to talk about this because there are things we can learn. It's a long interview, so you might want to watch it in bite-size pieces. I hope this video is helpful to you.

With righteous anger from one who’s witnessed the traumatic results of sexual abuse, she shines a light on ideologies that protect the institution “at all costs” (p. 72). Langberg laments how the leadership of the Southern Baptist Convention worked to keep sexual abuse from being exposed and reforms from being enacted (p. 74). She asks the obvious: “How do venerable Christian institutions stray so far from the scriptural principles that should guide them?” (p. 75).

In the following chapter, she focuses on the power of true repentance. “Repentance is long, slow, consistent change over time that comes from the heart outward” (p. 102). It is not a public statement of apology. It is slower and deeper. Repentance for sexual sin is not done in secret, but with other leaders. Langberg identifies the false repentance that is so prevalent when someone is caught. She refers to Obadiah Sedgwick’s book The Anatomy of Secret Sins. False repentance addresses only those things that can be seen by others. They grieve the loss of position and reputation. “The person ​cares more about being spared consequences than about being truly searched by the Word of God and the Spirit of God” (pp. 102–103). Those who may be called to bring an abusive leader through repentance must be lovingly brutal with the offender, so their repentance is not false or inadequate.

Think about what repentance is in the context of dealing with a Christian leader who has abused someone. Truly it is a difficult thing to repent of. Repentance is hard and deep work, and we shortchange the offender when we do not understand this and fail to do everything we can to help them repent (p. 103).

Langberg now turns to the subject of forgiveness. While forgiveness is proven to be healthy for individuals, it is not an easy process for a victim of sexual abuse. First, we must look at abuse as sin. “When someone has abused another, they have done something vile and destructive. We are talking about something that is ultimately fatal, something that carries terrible eternal consequences” (p. 105). She warns that simply pressuring survivors to forgive quickly short-changes the process and makes light of the sin of abuse. Forgiveness is not established by denying what happened; it begins with an accurate accounting of the abuse. However, Langberg is clear—forgiveness is what true followers of the Messiah do. When God forgave us, it was costly. He did not ignore our sin; Yeshua took it upon himself at the cross. What Langberg shares next is profound: “A forgiving spirit is not conditioned on repentance. It is conditioned on the work of Christ on the cross. Forgiveness, however, is received by way of repentance” (p. 108). In other words, while one may freely forgive their abuser, the abuser can only receive that forgiveness through their own repentance.

As Langberg approaches the end of her book, she dedicates an entire chapter to victims. She speaks about the devastating effects of abuse. “Abuse is traumatic. It does profound and long-lasting harm. It wounds precious people. It crushes hope” (p. 112). We read about the story of a man in Liberia, whose family had been killed. He now sits alone in his house, traumatized. “Trauma silences, destroys relationships, and squashes power in humans created by and loved by God. Abuse mars the image of God in another and in so doing breaks the heart of God.” (p. 112).

The harm done by the abuser is often only compounded by the silence of others who could speak up. Frequently, victims are told that the abuse was their fault, and they are guilty. The church has been guilty of abusing the abused. “If the church of Christ around the world is to honor the name it bears, then we must return to Christ’s teaching about the little ones—children, yes, but also the vulnerable and the least of these.” (p. 113). Langberg says Yeshua’s terrifying warning applies to abusers. The Messiah says, “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matt 18:6). “Do you think abuse causes the abused to stumble? Indeed, it does. It often affects them for a lifetime” (p. 113).

Invoking Isaiah 59, Langberg reassures victims that God calls His people to pursue justice and declares His anger toward Israel when justice was absent. She says that the picture that Isaiah paints is much like the church today, where abuse is not taken seriously, and victims hide in the shadows. However, she encourages those who were abused to speak up. Langberg tells a story from her childhood when she learned that, even though there were rats in the cellar, when you turn on the lights, they scatter.

Many of you victims of abuse, by speaking truth, by telling what was done to you, have turned on the light for many who did not know or who knew but denied there were rats in the cellar. You have honored the God of light, and many rats are running, and I for one am very grateful. You are a prophetic voice, calling God’s people to obedience to him. As the prophets of old would tell you, being a prophet is a difficult and painful vocation (p. 117).

Throughout the book, Langberg takes aim at pastors and addresses the humility deficit. “The character of our Lord grows in our lives when we place ourselves in the soil of humility” (p. 23). Readers learn that the higher one’s social power, the lower one’s capacity to empathize (p. 38). Such an idea is “diametrically opposed to the calling for God’s shepherds. … High-power people often feel fewer social restraints; they tend to make exceptions for their own behavior” (pp. 38–39). She emphasizes the need to have God’s heart for his sheep.

A big problem today is a lack of self-awareness and emotional intelligence. We can be deceived into thinking we are something we are not. “The capacity for deception is in all of us. We are all inclined to deceive ourselves as well as others. Scripture says deceit is the most prevalent and profound characteristic of the human heart, making our hearts unknowable to us (James 1:22)” (p. 57). A friend used to say the problem with deception is that it’s so deceiving. Langberg expands on the parable of the wheat and the tares, explaining that they look very similar until they begin to sprout. Only then can you clearly tell the difference. “People may seem similar outwardly, but their fruit tells the truth about who they really are” (p. 58). King Saul, when he disobeyed Samuel’s instructions from the Lord, said, “I have performed the Commandment of the Lord” (1 Sam 15:13). In speaking of King Saul, she says, “Remarkable self-deception” (p. 62).

In her quest to expose deception, she divides the subject into two chapters: one on self-deception and the other on systemic deception. Langberg reveals a dialogue between Bob Costas and notorious pedophile Jerry Sandusky. It is uncanny how completely convinced Sandusky is of his innocence. The psychologist aims to show how people can convince themselves that the evil that they are doing is actually good. They do so by lying to themselves little by little over time. “The most powerful lie of all is the lie that contains a bit of truth” (p. 63).

Next, Langberg defines systemic deception. “Systemic deception occurs when a group, a church, an organization, or a nation ignores or actively covers up wrongdoing in its midst” (p. 71). People involved in systemic deception can find themselves attacking victims of abuse in order to protect the institution and shaming those victims as simply being bitter, wanting to harm the institution. She cited an example of Columbia University Medical Center, where hospital employees shielded an abuser with more than 245 victims. “Administrators sought to protect their institution rather than the patients it served” (p. 72). Langberg talks about the tragedy of IHOPKC (p. 158), in which this reviewer sat on a board tasked with overseeing an investigation into the sexual sin of Mike Bickle. However, she wrongly praises the present leadership of IHOPKC by unwittingly attributing a quote to them, which came from the advocates who brought the charges. IHOPKC’s leadership team believed the “allegations of clergy sexual abuse by Mike Bickle to be credible and long-standing [based] on the collective and corroborating testimony of the experiences of several victims” (p. 94). The executive leadership team prioritized protecting the institution over the well-being of those who had come to serve.1

Langberg’s counsel is firmly rooted in a scriptural understanding of God’s care for His flock and the sobering truth that those entrusted to lead can cause untold damage when they betray that calling. The effects of Parkinson’s disease on her father are used as a metaphor throughout the book. His body could not obey the commands of his head. “A body that does not follow its head is a very sick body” (p. 5). That’s the problem in the church, claims Langberg. Jesus, the Head, is not being followed. But there is hope: “When the church follows its Head, then it is a refuge for the flock, with green pastures, clear waters, and restoration for wounded sheep, and most certainly a place free of wolves” (p. 119).

It is hard to find fault with this book. It is timely, penetrating, and biblical. But the one weakness I would point out is that while Langberg explains the problem, she does not explain in very practical details what every eldership and congregation must to do to make it safe for a victim to report abuse. In her final chapter, she states the problem through a story about Ghana. During a tour of an area of the country where the slave trade once flourished, her guide explained that there was a chapel directly above the dungeon. The dungeon served as a holding area for the men who would be shipped off to the West to be sold as slaves.

[In the chapel] they sang, read Scripture, prayed, and I suppose took up an offering for those less fortunate. The slaves could hear the service; the worshipers could sometimes hear the slaves, though there were those making them behave so as not to disturb church. The people in the chapel were numb to the horrific trauma and suffering beneath them. In fact, they were actively complicit. They preserved the system and destroyed people. Have we not done something similar in preserving our systems—our churches and Christian organizations—while the little ones and the abused are destroyed? (p. 135).

This was the time to give a roadmap. What policies can congregations introduce that would not only make the congregations safe but also make it safe for victims to report their abuse? How can we combat an institution that tells victims to be silent about their abuse and urges them to protect the institution? Langberg is the perfect person to lead the way, and I hope she will in the future.

Reading When the Church Harms God’s People is painful and heartbreaking— “heartbreaking” being a term she often uses about her own feelings—yet it also serves as a prophetic wake-up call to God’s under-shepherds. From a spiritual formation perspective, the author emphasizes the shepherd’s need to develop humility, practice self-denial, and submit to accountability. Pastors are reminded in her “Message to Shepherds” (pp. 118–130) that God is not concerned with their activity, platforms, or social media prowess, but as Yeshua told Martha only, “one thing is necessary” (125).

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[1] The reviewer was able to communicate with Dr. Langberg’s team, who are changing the text in the online version and notifying the publisher.