How Many Times Should I Forgive?

The Daily Struggle of Forgiveness

When Peter asked Yeshua, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21–22)

That number isn’t meant to be counted—it’s meant to show that forgiveness is not a one-time event. It’s a lifestyle, a rhythm of the heart, and sometimes, a battle.

There are moments when forgiving once doesn’t feel like enough. The wound runs deep, and every time you think about what happened, the pain rises again. You find yourself forgiving the same person—sometimes even for the same offense—over and over. I’ve come to realize that this isn’t failure. It’s part of the healing process.

Forgiveness is not forgetting; it’s surrendering the right to punish, one prayer at a time. So, those “seventy times seven” moments may not be seventy different sins—they might be the same wound revisited until the heart is whole. Each time we choose to forgive, we take one step closer to complete healing.

Praying Through the Lord’s Prayer

Most mornings, I pray through the Lord’s Prayer. It has become my daily spiritual reset. But when I reach the part—“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors”—I can’t just breeze past it. I stop.

I ask Yeshua to forgive me. I let His grace wash over my failures—my harsh words, pride, impatience, and judgments. Then I turn to those who have sinned against me.

I start naming names—anyone I can think of that I might possibly hold even a trace of unforgiveness toward. Some days it’s a short list. Other days, it’s longer than I’d like to admit. But I can’t afford to live in unforgiveness.

Unforgiveness is poison. It doesn’t stay contained—it spreads, infecting peace, joy, and even physical health. Scripture says, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones” (Proverbs 14:30). Bitterness eats away at us from the inside. It blocks the flow of God’s love in our lives and turns the soul inward on itself.

So, I name every name. I let go again. And again. And sometimes, again tomorrow.

The Depth of His Forgiveness

If Jesus can forgive me of every sin I’ve ever committed—every selfish thought, careless word, and hidden motive—how can I withhold forgiveness from anyone else?

Psalm 103:12 says, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Think about that: east and west never meet. That’s how completely God separates us from our sin.

He doesn’t just overlook it—He erases it from the record. It’s gone, washed clean by the blood of Yeshua, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world (John 1:29).

When I remember that, my heart softens. How could I, someone forgiven of so much, hold another person in the prison of resentment? I’ve sinned against God far more than any human has ever sinned against me.

I remember teaching a group of young people about thirty years ago and saying, “There’s no one who has sinned against you more than you have sinned against God.” One young man struggled to understand that. His heart was bitter—toward whom, I don’t know—but he was convinced that what was done to him was worse than anything he had done to God.

But here’s the truth: someone else’s sin against me did not require someone to die. My sin against God demanded the death of His Son. Forgiveness was costly.

The Cost of Unforgiveness

At the end of the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus adds a warning we can’t ignore

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:14–15)

That’s a sobering statement.

Does it mean a believer can lose their salvation? I don’t think that’s what Jesus meant—but I also don’t want to take that chance. What I do believe is that unforgiveness blocks the experience of God’s forgiveness. It doesn’t undo salvation, but it certainly robs us of the joy and peace that come with it.

I know what it feels like to sense that someone has “gotten away” with something against you. You want them to pay. It eats at you. It’s not fair. But it also wasn’t fair that Jesus had to die for my sins. And yet, He did.

So, I forgive—completely. It’s not optional; it’s the only way to follow Yeshua faithfully.

An unforgiving heart is a miserable place to live. You can’t fully worship, love, or rest when you’re nursing old wounds. Bitterness builds walls between you and the presence of God. It’s hard to hear His voice when the noise of anger fills your heart.

And over time, bitterness doesn’t just affect your spirit—it impacts your body. Scripture warns that bitterness “rots the bones.” Even modern medicine agrees: emotional stress and unforgiveness can lead to physical illness.

We think holding on protects us from pain, but the opposite is true. Letting go is what sets us free.

Forgiveness Is Not a Feeling

One of the greatest misconceptions about forgiveness is that it’s an emotion. It’s not. Forgiveness is a decision—a spiritual act of obedience that often happens long before the feelings catch up.

You may still feel hurt, angry, or sad. That’s okay. Forgiveness doesn’t mean denying pain; it means refusing to let pain define you. You’re placing the situation in God’s hands and trusting Him to bring justice and healing in His time.

Sometimes, I forgive someone today and wake up tomorrow feeling the sting all over again. That doesn’t mean I failed. It means I’m human—and I’m still healing.

So I go back to the Lord’s Prayer. I speak their name again. I choose forgiveness again. Over and over, until my heart is free.

Living Free From Unforgiveness

Forgiveness isn’t a one-time transaction—it’s a lifelong practice. Like washing your hands, it keeps the soul clean.

Every time I pray, I ask Jesus to forgive me—and on that same basis, I forgive others. It’s not a religious ritual; it’s spiritual survival. I can’t afford to live in unforgiveness. The cost is too high.

When we walk in forgiveness, the Spirit flows unhindered. Our prayers become lighter. Our hearts become open. We walk in peace, not pain.

Forgiving doesn’t mean what happened was okay. It means you refuse to let it control you. It’s an act of faith—a declaration that God’s grace is greater than any offense.

So, how many times should you forgive? As many times as it takes.

Even if it’s the same son, the same friend, the same wound—keep forgiving. Because every time you do, you step closer to the heart of Jesus, who forgave us all.