A letter from Ray, Kim's Husband

To anyone who is listening,

I am Ray. Michael Brown and I were not peers. He would call me. I didn’t call him. He would show up at my door. I didn’t show up at his door. Nancy and I were not in the habit of emailing each other. I mostly did not email Mike. He predominantly sent emails to my wife, Kim’s email address. Usually casting vision, commenting on Scripture, etc. He often used the remark with her, my wife, “we are in sync.”

He first began calling us on the phone in August 2000. I believe that he was acclimating us to the practice of him calling either one of us, then eventually not me. His excuse that he had boundaries in his life for physical contact with women, but not for email, is not plausible. We know that he spent much time alone in parking lots in a parked car with Sarah, nearly a year later and according to her testimony, she had unfettered access to be with him alone in his office.

He said we all played games together. I can’t say we never did, but I have no memory of that. And if we had been friends and peers, he would have known that I loathed most table games except chess and Chinese checkers. He brought over his Woodstock VHS tapes so that we could learn how revolution comes about. It was grueling. At the time, like sitting through a defensive driving class with a teacher who was giddy about it.

He often started his sentences with “Trust me…” or “In truth…”  At some point, I even told him that the only people I knew who constantly say “trust me” are car dealers.

On the few occasions that we went out for dinner together, Mike usually picked up the tab. We generally couldn’t afford to eat out frequently, and if we did, we liked to take our children.

Mike cautioned me when I was once entertaining what he considered to be poor scholarship (meaning not his) regarding Christian teaching. Mike made fun of all things Southern, or bashed the Southern construction men working on his house. It got to the point where I mentioned to him and Nancy that they might be happier back up north.

Mike depicts us as being co-workers in church, or some sort of notion that got mumbled through during the podcast. The truth is, when we were first becoming acquainted, Mike was one of the prominent leaders of what many believe was one of the greatest revivals of the 20th century. To simply say he was not her pastor is only technically true and partially true. (It could be that Mike’s greatest skill is in telling a truth without telling the truth.) But Mike is denying the powerful role that he played in that revival and his influence upon others. Him referring to Kim as a peer to him, is ridiculous. He was the scholar. He held a weekly meeting for visiting pastors from all over the world to the revival, was writing books at the time, traveling and ministering around the world … while Kim was a housewife. Peers, they were not. Add to the fact that Mike is known for his ability to convince people of things, and you can see that they were not peers.  

But he fails to mention that by the time the abusive patterns began to reveal themselves—he washer pastor. He also failed to mention that during the Fall 2001 semester of FIRE (when he would have been beginning to pursue my wife in earnest), he hired me for a vaguely defined position, encouraging me to just try it out at least. He paid me a market-worthy salary without fail, while it seems many others were not always getting paid, which I was unaware of at the time. In other words, to hire me at a time when he could not pay the school staff was irresponsible and reveals that he may have had bad intentions.

I discontinued that position in December 2001 because something felt icky to me. I have in my own 2001 journal entries personal reflections on the conflicts I felt with Mike and the school at the time, and why I felt that Mike was not called to this city (Pensacola). 

In the beginning of 2002, I was no longer employed by the school and had no connections there. I was unaware of the larger context of Mike’s abusive and manipulative behavior until approximately a year ago. So, when I confronted Mike it could be argued that we were peers: me confronting him about his betrayal of me and my family. One man to another man about a woman. Old as dirt.

Mike failed to mention in his interview last week, in this alleged “mutual” emotional affair, that he demanded my wife stop having sex with me (maybe because Pastor Heather didn’t ask). Nor has he ever explained how he could make such a demand. She did not demand that of him. He failed to mention that he began demanding my wife meet him somewhere private. My wife did not demand that of him. So this was not merely an emotional affair; Mike began to act possessively towards Kim.

In the Heather Schott interview, he failed to mention that he tried to touch my wife’s leg while the four of us were riding in a car in the dark. Can you even imagine such a scenario?

To me, though, in the present, the most vicious twisting of perceptions is his explanation of the infamous nightstand notes. The evil embedded in his nuanced psyche is encapsulated within his short and simple response, “She said something inappropriate that surprised me, and I wrote it down.” He had the audacity to accuse Kim of being the aggressor, all while making the claim that he wanted to protect me and my family.

Did it surprise Mike because all his efforts had finally paid off? What inappropriate talk had you been patiently nudging her way to finally get her to cross a line? (Mike will begrudgingly say what happened to him, but he will not say why.) Did Mike write it down and keep it in his nightstand drawer so that he could read it over and over? Did he add to it? Did he write erotica and leave it in his nightstand drawer in hopes that Sarah would find it—and possibly it would help her to cross a line? There’s only one person in the world who really knows. Mike. 

I stated in my first testimony the sequence of events during the first part of 2002 to the best of my knowledge and memory. It is my understanding and belief that my wife came to me and confessed what had happened before any of the other events Mike cites. But really, at this point, trying to make a point about who confessed first or who repented first is a distinction without a difference. Mike doesn’t win an “atta’ boy”, a sticker, or a participation trophy if he was first to confess. Definitely a cringeworthy moment and a glimpse at his juvenile nature.

Mike cited a couple of dates later in 2002 where I met him at Friday’s restaurant, Kim met Nancy at some point, and/or maybe we all did. Mike makes it sound like everything at that point was pretty much ok again, practically friends. I have almost no memory of what that would have been like. But as time progressed, I realized more and more in my life what a naive idiot I was, and that those follow-up visits likely had a lot more to do with the two of them trying to “handle” us—to keep us from ever telling a secret that could professionally damage him. In the end, it was those scandalous notes he kept in his nightstand that brought about his exposure.  

Mike neglected to mention his manipulation and abuse towards the Prip's, towards “Elizabeth” and her parents, the Barry’s, towards staff, and other ministers with whom he claimed a plurality of leadership.

Whatever Mike did twenty-plus years ago is one thing. The reason for his troubles today, though, is his re-creation of it when confronted. Mike refuses to surrender his intellect to Christ and confess his pervasively deceptive ways. He has to win—or burn the world down trying. It is astounding, really.

With that experience under my belt, I don’t believe I have ever encountered a man more disturbing to me than Mike Brown. Because he claims a godly motive behind what he does and says, yet there are seemingly countless layers behind that facade, which pre-empted me from having my own thoughts, caused me to question my own perception of reality, and leave me utterly exhausted. To me, that seems akin to witchcraft.

The only question left is, Michael Brown, why do you lie before God who sees all?

Ray, Kim’s husband