A Letter from Jordan, Kim and Ray's Daughter

From Jordan, Daughter of Kim:

It is with great reluctance that I am coming forward with a statement on behalf of my mother and father. However, after hearing the interview of Mike Brown with Heather Schott, I cannot stay silent any longer. Some time ago, my father graciously gave a statement.  However, things like this have a way of taking on a life of their own. Important details get drowned out in the noise of it all. So I would like to say this for the people in the back. My mother did not have an affair with Mike Brown.

I was unable to stomach listening to the entire 3 1/2 hour disgusting podcast done by Heather Schott, but I did listen to Mike Brown give his account of his interaction with my mother, and it was one of the greatest falsehoods I have heard to this day. For Mike Brown to say that a relationship between him and my mother was mutual or imply that they were in any way peers is false.

In his interview, Mike Brown implied that our families were the best of friends, and while our families were friendly, it was not in the way he portrayed it. Anyone who looks back at my father’s statement will see that he describes it as very much like the movie “What About Bob?” where Mike Brown was a bit of a nuisance you just couldn’t get away from. Mike Brown calling my parents while they were on a vacation with their children was just intrusive. Calling and speaking to my father to share some kind of ministry news and then asking to put my mother on the phone so he can tell her himself is grooming. Why did he need to speak to my mother personally? Why could he not tell my father the news and let my father tell my mother?

That is only a small example of Mike’s invasive actions towards my mother and our family during that time and it is my unprofessional opinion from my own experience that Mike Brown was not only grooming my mother, but also my father to be okay with personal interactions between himself and my mother.

In September 2001, Mike Brown hired my father on staff at Fire for a position that was not clearly defined. At that time, not only would Mike Brown have been viewed by my parents as a lead minister, but also as my father‘s employer. It was later during that time that a phone call with an inappropriate interaction between my mother and Mike Brown became known to my father and my father confronted Mike Brown about it.

To not acknowledge that there was a real and substantial power dynamic is a grave oversight. My parents and Mike Brown were never peers and the reality is that Mike Brown attempted to pursue the wife of a then-staff member. That is far from mutual and doesn’t account for the horrible position Mike Brown would have put my mother in at the time.

Mike Brown was, at that time in our lives, our pastor, as well as the man who signed the paycheck for my family. That is not a “mutual emotional affair.” Hearing Mike Brown describe this as a mutual affair with a peer, apologizing for the offense to his wife, while also defending himself regarding Sarah Monk, declaring that his intentions were nothing but pure is disgusting. The reality is that Mike Brown was a lead minister, president of a school, employer of Sarah Monk, and employer of my father, while he was pursuing the wife of an employee, as well as being inappropriate with another employee more than half his age. That is what I call a pattern and a power trip.

In Mike Brown’s interview with Heather Schott, I heard him say through his tears that there has not been a normal day for him and Nancy since all of this came out months ago. That is the consequence of Mike Brown’s past actions and continued evasiveness toward his abusive behavior. 

In my own experience with sin and failure I have experienced exactly what a worship song describes as the overwhelming, never ending, reckless love of God. When there is sin in our lives God gives us opportunities to make it right and when we don’t take that opportunity it escalates and often ends in embarrassment and humiliation. 

When God rips everything we thought we ever knew about ourselves away we experience true poverty of spirit and on the other side of that is blessed restoration. I pray that Mike Brown will allow God in and that he can experience the blessing that comes with true poverty of spirit. That is the gateway to healing and restoration.

Ultimately, the intricate details of this are impossible to know. The only other person that would be able to shed light upon it is no longer here—and Mike Brown’s testimony and character has been proven to be unreliable and untrustworthy. I will tell you with confidence though, that if my mother were here, as much as she would hate it (and I would hate it for her), she would share quickly, plainly, and truthfully what happened, no matter the cost to her.

I could write tit-for-tat all the day long trying to unravel Mike Brown’s lies and deceit.  But ultimately, there is something bigger than that to set our eyes upon. It’s something bigger than any one of us. It’s a move of God I am seeing over many people that come from many walks of life, standing up and saying no to an old, broken system that we do not want to take part in, where people try to lead others with manipulation and intimidation instead of simply leading by serving. God is moving in our hearts, in our homes, and in our families and the way of the old system will not be allowed to cross over the Jordan into the promised land.

I have seen many comments over the last months with people’s assumptions about my mother, and that has hurt my father more than I can describe, and has been sad for us to see my mother so poorly represented. How convenient for Mike Brown to be so open about a version of a story about a woman who is no longer here to defend herself. That is disgraceful and Mike Brown, you should be ashamed of yourself. Please, just stop talking about my mother. My mother will not be a faceless, voiceless person with no defense. We know the truth. God knows the truth. My parents have carried no shame regarding this situation. It was let go and restored long ago between my parents.

Before my mother died, I asked her if she was at peace with God or afraid to die, and she said that she was not afraid and she was at peace. I would like to finish my statement with borrowed words from my father that he spoke at my mother’s funeral. These are the life-giving words that describe who my mother really was. 

“I want to tell you what I believe may be the most important part of ‘Kim’s’ life message. Several days before she passed, a portion of Scripture kept coming to my mind. At first, it did not seem to speak to what we were experiencing. Nevertheless, I began reading it out loud while sitting beside her and did so for several days until she passed. A few days went by, and I began to realize something from it. John 1:1-1:18

“George McDonald once wrote something to the effect of this: as we grow older we are moving either towards God-likeness, or we are moving towards our natural and carnal ancestral traits. In her childhood and earlier years, ‘Kim’ overcame many obstacles and difficult challenges in her life. As she was entering into what would have been the autumn of her life, ‘Kim’ continued to bare her heart open to God. She contended for the faith. In addition to that, over the past five years or so, she read nearly 150 books from a list of important literature from the past 200 years.

"Her love for outdoors, water, sun, sunsets, bike rides, walks, and the evening moon and stars could rival the magical wonder of any of her grandchildren. ‘Kim’ was ever moving towards God-likeness. And during the past couple of years especially, she kept growing brighter… and brighter. She was full of life and love for everyone. She was grateful, and appreciated the simplest pleasures of life. She loved to serve her family, ponder beautiful readings and beautiful music. Dutiful mother, grandmother, and responsible steward over her resources. Loving friend to many, lover to God and his creation. Faithful and faith-filled wife. ‘Kim’ deserves high honors today. Your mother deserves high honors today. Not because she did everything right, or never did anything wrong, but because her life viewed in its entirety, bore witness of the light. She left us with something worth gleaning from, something worth striving for, something worth imitating, memories to cherish, and a brightly lit torch that is worthy of picking up and running with.”

THAT is who my mother was. That is the torch I will pick up and carry to continue the work my parents and many others started. When you think of my mother, may this be what you think of. May her life be a message of God’s love for us above anything else.

Signed, 

The proud daughter of “Ray and Kim”,“Jordan”