The Most Overlooked Verse in the Clergy Sexual Abuse Crisis

I have certainly second-guessed myself on a few occasions over the past two years. Writing a book about ministers who abused their positions to sexually manipulate women has cost me something every single day. Recently, someone I respect reminded me of that when they expressed deep concern about my actions. I take those concerns seriously. I don’t just assume that person is wrong and I’m right. It troubles me. My concern isn’t whether I’m respected; it’s whether I obeyed God and whether I caused more trouble than was warranted.

With that in mind, I woke up the next morning and continued my Bible reading in 1 Thessalonians 4. A verse I had never connected with this subject JUMPED OUT at me. Please take a moment to read it with me. I believe it helps explain why God is particularly concerned about those who sexually exploit other believers, why it is more serious than other sexual sins, and why the Church cannot ignore it.

The Verse We Missed

We have often been far more concerned, at least in the responses I’ve heard from ministers, about the reputation, calling, and restoration of abusive ministers than with the people they have harmed. While no one would consciously admit this, the actions of minimizing sexual sin and covering it up confirm it. Listen to Paul:

“In this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before.” (1 Thessalonians 4:6, NIV)

“This matter” that Paul refers to is sexual immorality. The Greek word is porneia. You might recognize the beginning of that word in our English word pornography. In verses 3–5, Paul says:

v. 3: Abstain from porneia.v. 4: Learn to control your own body in holiness and honor.v. 5: Do not give in to lustful passion like those who do not know God.

Now, back to verse 6: Do not “wrong” (hyperbainō) or “take advantage of” (pleonekteō) a brother or sister in a sexual matter. The Greek adelphon literally means “brother,” but here it clearly refers more broadly to a fellow believer, as the NIV reflects. Paul says God will punish those who do this.

Hyperbainō means to overstep or cross a boundary. Pleonekteō means to exploit, defraud, or take advantage of someone. In this context, Paul is warning against sexually exploiting another believer or overstepping a physical or sexual boundary. That can include convincing someone that what is immoral is actually holy. I have heard dozens of stories of people who knew something was wrong but were persuaded by a spiritual authority or counselor that their sexual relationship was somehow acceptable. “It’s okay, because when my wife dies, we will be married,” “This is true friendship.”

The Lord is an Avenger!

Human accountability is a mercy to the offender, because God’s judgment is far more serious. Paul presents exploiting another believer for sexual gratification as a grievous offense. Imagine how much worse it is when the person being exploited is under your spiritual authority or influence.

Some commentators understand Paul’s immediate example as adultery, particularly the violation of another man’s marriage. But the language of exploitation is what makes this passage so important to the present crisis in the Church. We need to pay attention.

LET ME BE CLEAR: Paul warns against general sexual sin in vv. 3-5. In verse 6, he was warning against something that is WORSE than sexual immorality because it involves harming an innocent person. It is “sexual-immorality-plus,” if you will. On top of sexual sin, the perpetrator is manipulating the soul of another child of God.

Of course, adultery itself is a serious sin, and Hebrews 13:4 explicitly says God will judge adulterers. Adultery tears marriages apart and destroys families. But in 1 Thessalonians 4:6, Paul focuses on the injustice of taking advantage of another person’s weakness for personal sexual gratification. When a spiritual leader is involved, the offense is compounded by the manipulation of one of God’s sons or daughters.

We trust ministers more than we do doctors, police officers, and counselors. For a doctor, we will disrobe at his request, believing it benefits our health. To a counselor, we will bare our souls. We ascribe even greater moral authority to ministers, which is why ministers must treat that trust with honor and integrity. Sadly, we have heard stories of ministers turning that trust into a means for immoral contact.

The Abuse of Spiritual Power

What makes clergy sexual abuse so destructive is the exploitation of spiritual authority. A pastor, home-group leader, prophet, or ministry mentor occupies a position of trust. People look to these individuals for guidance, encouragement, prayer, and spiritual protection.

Now imagine someone using that trust to gain sexual access to a person under his care.

• Pleasuring oneself in front of a subordinate, acting as if it is normal behavior—and making the subordinate feel that if they are uncomfortable, they are the one with the problem.

• Using false prophecy to build intimacy, or biblical bridal language to break down boundaries and resistance. Seeking to confuse biblical intimacy with sexual intimacy.

• Allowing someone under your authority to see you aroused, or repeatedly pushing physical boundaries until inappropriate behavior starts to seem normal.

• Complaining about your marriage and seeking sympathy that can then be exploited.

This is not simply an inappropriate relationship between two people. One person has used his influence, position, or authority to take advantage of another.

Exploitation means taking advantage of another person’s vulnerability, trust, or circumstances. While the Greek word does not itself require a formal power imbalance, clergy sexual abuse involves precisely that: someone in spiritual authority exploiting a person who trusts him. It is an especially disturbing example of what Paul is condemning.

The victim may feel unable to say no. She may fear losing her church, her friends, her ministry opportunities, or even God’s approval—or even her friendship with the leader. The perpetrator may convince her that their relationship is special, spiritual, or somehow ordained by God.

When it ends, the damage can last for decades.

Sexual abuse can devastate someone’s self-image, destroy their ability to trust, cause severe psychological trauma, and even damage their relationship with God. The very person who was supposed to represent God’s love has become the source of their deepest pain. I have heard the stories.

Yet when these things come to light, church leaders often become preoccupied with the minister’s future.

Will he lose his ministry? What about his family? Can he be restored? What about all the people his ministry has helped?

What about the person he exploited? That seems to be precisely Paul’s concern—and God’s. That is why we cannot treat this abuse as something minor. Sadly, the Church tends to rally around the abuser and blame the victim. Yes… that happens a lot!

The Lord Is an Avenger

Here is what makes Paul’s warning so extraordinary. He does not merely say that sexual exploitation is wrong. He identifies the Lord as the ekdikos, the “avenger”—the one who brings justice against wrongdoing. Paul adds that he had already solemnly warned the Thessalonians about this. He wants believers to understand that God takes sexual exploitation personally.

And I want to speak directly to any minister who has sexually exploited someone under his authority.

You may think you got away with it. The victim never told anyone. Your wife never found out. Your elders know nothing. Your ministry continues to grow. People still invite you to preach, buy your books, and celebrate your anointing.

Perhaps decades have passed, and you have convinced yourself that the matter is settled because you privately confessed your sin to God. Or worse, that you don’t think your abuse was so bad. After all, you have sacrificed so much for him in other areas. Maybe you are still an abuser. I have news for you:

God has not forgotten. The Lord is an avenger.

Your victim’s silence does not mean you have escaped accountability. Your continued success in ministry does not mean God has approved of your conduct, just as He was not okay with Samson’s sin. Like Samson, you will face a day of reckoning. Your spiritual gifts do not cancel His promise of justice. Just ask [fill in the blank!]

I don’t say that to scare you, but to urge you to confess. (see below)

Private Repentance Is Not Enough

This is where the Church desperately needs to recover Paul’s teaching about accountability.

If you are a minister who has sexually exploited someone, genuine repentance requires full disclosure to the appropriate local elders, with independent oversight where necessary. You must be willing to face the consequences, including probable removal from ministry.

“But you don’t know how many people we are helping.” That is precisely why you should have counted the cost before you abused God’s daughter. That is the tragedy—your ministry might be effective. But 1 Timothy 3 does not say, “An overseer must be above reproach, unless he is really anointed or feeds the hungry.” There is a cost to the victim, the local church, the larger body of believers, your family, and to you for sexually abusive behavior. People might not be reached who otherwise would have been. But that is not an excuse to ignore biblical standards; it is a reason not to abuse your sister!

Accountability

When abuse is established, Scripture calls for public accountability.

In 1 Timothy 5:19–20, Paul addresses accusations against elders and then commands:

“As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.” (ESV)

The Church cannot simply handle substantiated clergy sexual abuse behind closed doors, arrange a private restoration process, and allow the offender to move quietly into another ministry.

The congregation has a right to know when someone entrusted with spiritual authority has abused that trust. The sheep need to know if someone who has acted as a wolf is in their midst—for their own safety and the safety of their children.

Forgiveness is available through Messiah. Restoration to spiritual leadership, however, is not an entitlement. The Church’s responsibility is to protect the vulnerable, care for the wounded, and ensure that others are not harmed, not to protect an abuser.

Whose Side Are We On?

If you think the problem in the Church is those calling for justice and accountability rather than sexual exploitation and its cover-up, you are out of step with Paul’s warning. Let me speak for myself: I haven’t always chosen the right words. On such an emotional subject, at times, I may have expressed myself too passionately or responded too quickly. And sometimes, I was downright angry. I can own that. But friends, those failings pale in comparison with the damage done to someone’s soul through abuse—or with knowingly allowing an unrepentant abuser back among the sheep.

We are more outraged at the imperfect way the sin is confronted than the sinful abuse itself! It appears that we care more for the minister who abused than the victim.

The Lord Is an Avenger—Not You?

It would be a serious misuse of this passage to argue that because God promises to avenge victims of sexual exploitation, the Church should remain silent and leave judgment to Him. That is not Paul’s point. He is warning perpetrators that even if they escape human accountability, they will never escape God’s judgment. As stated above, human accountability, no matter how humiliating, is more merciful. We tend to think it is not because we can push it off into the future. What happens to a minister who dies with unrepentant sexual abuse on your soul? I don’t know. I sure don’t want to find out.

At the very least, these exposures that have come decades later show that it is far better to deal with sin in real time, with honesty and integrity, than to gloss over it.

Paul asks, “Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge?” (1 Cor. 5:12, ESV). In 1 Timothy 5:19–20, he commands that accusations against elders be handled with proper evidence and that those who persist in sin be publicly rebuked so others will fear.

Don’t abandon biblical accountability. When a minister sexually exploits someone under his authority, the church has a responsibility to investigate, protect the vulnerable, involve civil authorities when crimes may have been committed, and publicly address established wrongdoing while protecting the victim’s privacy.

We cannot hide behind God’s promise of judgment as an excuse for our own cowardice. Nor can we prioritize mercy toward the perpetrator while neglecting the victim.

When Paul says that the Lord is an avenger, he is not telling church leaders to look the other way. He is telling sexual predators that God sees what they have done. He warns that exploiting a fellow believer is especially grievous because of the profound harm it can cause to that person’s emotional and spiritual life. He is saying that even if you somehow are able to get away with it before men, He sees!

You see, a man can become so ruled by his hormones that he convinces himself he needs that woman. She’s kind, affirming, and understanding—“unlike my wife.” He begins to justify what he knows is wrong. Paul warns you in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6: Your hormones, your lust, your passion are deceiving you. You may think you can hide what you’ve done, but you cannot escape God’s judgment. Exposure can devastate families, the local church, and, in some cases, the wider body of Messiah when someone has a large platform. God takes sexual abuse by His servants seriously.

And if God takes sexual exploitation this seriously, shouldn’t His shepherds?

If God takes up the cause of those who have been sexually exploited, how dare His shepherds become the protectors of those who exploit them? Shepherds protect sheep, not fellow shepherds!

And to those who have been abused and subsequently ignored or silenced by the Church: The God who sees what happened to you has not forgotten you.

His justice may not come according to our timetable, but His warning is unmistakable.

You may escape the judgment of men. You will not escape the judgment of God.